The Spiritual Gift of Sadness

The Spiritual Gift of Sadness
- a ministry update from Mo Leverett and Rebirth International -

Jesus once said, “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life.”

When we are in a relationship with God and are devouring the rich content of the scriptures, it is much like a feast. When one reads the scriptures rightly, he always finds Christ behind, in and through every morsel. Lately, I’ve been feasting on Him in the Psalms.

Psalm 42 and 43 have caught my attention. Both chapters repeat the refrain that I have been able to relate to much in my 40’s: “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” The first psalm seems to relate the problem of depression, which is what we call the condition these days, to an issue of spiritual filling. The second, relates the problem to spiritual vindication. Both passages are treasure troves of information for those of us who at varying stages of life find ourselves both in a state of emptiness or violation.

If ever one feels shame for discovering this state of mind in themselves, it is no surprise. For modern Christian culture disdains and disallows it. Conventional Christian wisdom would say, that one is not truly spiritual until one is truly happy. If this were the case, then Christ Himself above all others would be lacking in spiritual maturity in that He experienced deep sadness around His circumstances of spiritual hunger and oppression. Sadness is the outgrowth of being human - it is completely natural and serves a deeply spiritual function.

But many churches are no longer a safe place for people who are deeply sad. Can you imagine a person praying, as did the Psalmist, so openly about their misery in a contemporary evangelical setting? No, that person would be shamed or ordered into counseling - told to come back when he’s found his happiness again. Ironically, Jesus, being the self-described Man of Sorrows that He was, might not be welcome in the same church He founded.

It is a strange relationship that we humans have with ourselves. We tend to think of ME as a single entity, and that is what ME is. But that singularity has the capacity to warp itself into an existential introspective one man therapy session. That ME can step away from itself without detachment, to peer back onto itself, and to finally evaluate and exhort itself. So while ME may be singular. ME is a complex and multi-dimensional singularity. And this is process the Psalmist enters and also invites us to.

As the ME in us looks back and discovers a depressed state, he is no different than the Psalmist, and no different from the Savior Himself. And as was true with both of those guys, one’s relationship with himself is not an unimportant or inconsequential relationship. It is one that should be cultivated and protected. Often the greatest abuser of ME is ME. And I know this sounds silly but I have had to learn to protect ME from ME, because ME deserves protection, but ME can be cruel toward ME. I hope this makes sense…

I have discovered as I’ve aged that the lofty exercise of denying oneself is not the same as ignoring or neglecting oneself. Perhaps this needs amplification. Caring for oneself under the Shadow of the Almighty is an intensely spiritual obligation. Failure to do so only adds to the human malady we were born with.

Recognition of our innate emptiness opens the way for Jesus in the same manner that hunger opens the way to a good meal. (This makes me feel sad for those of you who happen to live outside of New Orleans, by the way!) Sadness, in one sense, is simply spiritual hunger pains. Far from being a dysfunctional part of our selves, sadness is the warning light that we’re about to run out of gas, oil or water. Sadness is simply an indicator to us that the things of this world are not adequate for our fulfillment. Sadness is our soul saying, “Hey, ME, you need a little spiritual filling - you need Jesus!”

Moreover, within every human soul is an intrinsic and universal cry for justice - or an internal demand to be handled rightly. That need is rooted in the Creation Motif - that we are all image-bearers and were designed to have dominion and dignity. Conversely, image bearers are not to be dominated or oppressed. We are born with the image of God emblazoned upon our soul, and thus should not tolerate abuse, injustice or oppression in any form. ME is too important for that.

So when one is in a circumstance where ME has been violated or oppressed, sadness is inevitable and instructive. When we have been violated, our soul craves vindication. The discovery that the Psalmist made and shares with us is that the only one who can be trusted with that vindication is God Himself. ME cannot be trusted, partially because ME can be selfish and deceived, but more importantly, ME lacks the sovereign power to bring justice about. God however, has all wisdom and power. So the psalmist is right to say, “Vindicate ME O’ God!”

Within ME there are thoughts, emotions, and indigenous chemical compounds that complicate, eclipse or escalate human awareness and experience. And while there are commonalities in human existence, there are also infinite numbers of variances that make any medical or scientific diagnosis of human frailty, slippery at best.

The only one who knows us fully and completely is God. Providentially, the same source that knows every diminishing hair on our head, loves us thoroughly. The Person Who knows us completely, in that He created us head to toe, also is in a passionate pursuit of redeeming, sanctifying and yes, vindicating us. And when we say that He knows, we mean that He knows every nuance that our individual complexities create. He not only knows how to diagnose our condition with absolute clarity - He Himself is the anecdote to our malady.

The doctor, the therapist, the parent, the teacher, the preacher - they all have an angle of understanding. And each of those persons have a level of care for our souls, especially when we pay our bills, tuition and tithes on time. But God sees our maladies from all sides simultaneously. And His love is only conditioned on the premise of surrender. He not only invites us to come empty-handed, but requires it. In other words, His willingness to take us in as a patient is not contingent upon our ability to pay. On the contrary, He only works on those who recognize, no matter how much or little they have, they can’t buy their way into His professional care and legal representation.

True surrender is the rendering of our souls and circumstance to the love and sovereign care of God. That surrender is the only lasting cure to our depression.

When one is depressed, he does not have to look hard to find it. It manifests itself in every square inch of his being. So when the Psalmist does some soul searching and discovers his own downcast state, he also becomes his own preacher and points in the direction of hope. In Psalm 42 he reminds himself to, “Put your hope in God.” In Psalm 43 he repeats, “Put your hope in God.”

Perhaps it sounds simple. But knowing what is right and achieving it, when it comes to me at least, is always less than inevitable. Embarrassingly, I often choose my own perspective over the greater wisdom and humility of Christ. The burden that is then born by self-reliance is always heavier than expected - heavier than our minds or hearts were built to bare. But on those rare occasions when I approximate surrender, it is simply amazing how light the load can feel, even in the midst of heavy burden.

But the answer is always one of focus. One who is focused on His circumstance, becomes depressed. One whose focus has graduated to strategies to remedy his own circumstance is not only depressed, but is fast making an idol of himself. He is on the path of self-induced tragedy that all independent living results in. We were not branches designed for launching out on our own. We were created with a dependent variable.

Of all the things that I must repent the most, it is my failure to love and to trust God with all my heart. In truth, I have failed miserably at giving to him the affection that He deserves and has purchased at great cost. I have found it is possible to serve God with all my might and to simultaneously abandon Him in my heart. Moreover, God has proven his trustworthiness a million times over, but my heart still gives way to fear and to self-reliance.

But there is hope. There is always hope. Why? Because no matter how far off the path we stray, our God always takes wandering souls back. And He offers Himself as the main course in the feast, celebrating our return.

Drinking in the eternal affections of God toward us, and feeding on the many benefits of His love is in fact the greatest gift that He offers us, and the highest calling and privilege of this short life. In this regard, pray for ME and he will also pray for YOU.