Keeping Perspective

I woke up this morning mostly focused on bodily weariness from the almost 30 hours of driving through the panhandle of Florida, consulting with churches in Quincy, Tallahassee and Orlando, Florida.

I know when I’m pressing too hard - I tend to get sick, overwhelmed, excessively forgetful and disengaged. My symptoms today are evidence that I’ve been pressing too hard.

I’ve been pressing, though, because of our present dire financial situation. My inability to make payroll was causing me to feel vulnerable, anxious and afraid. Money issues are larger than maybe they ought to be, but they loom large nonetheless.

What I failed to focus on was God’s perfect plan for my prosperity, my security, my salvation, my sanctification. I failed to remind myself that God’s mercies toward me have been renewed today, as it is everyday. I chose to think about the temporal instead of the eternal.

Even so, underlying every discouragement is the clear awareness within me of the call of God on my life toward this vision. I never really question it - never have, and I don’t now.

But this is hard, when you have a wife and children. Living in a state of total trust was easier when I was a young college student, living in my Volkswagen Rabbit, eating pimento cheese sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have been on the faith walk for almost 20 years now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to the post office box on the day of payroll and SHAZAM - there it is! The fact that I’m coming up short has me looking into alternatives about how to make the vision of Rebirth work.

No matter what, I’m committed to this vision - because I’m convinced of God’s call. However, running all over the country, living off the last sold CD or the most recent honorarium is not going to cut it. This summer is going to be tough. I have very few concerts scheduled - no high dollar consulting or speaking engagements on the docket.

And so I need your prayer. But, no matter what happens, I am reminded that God’s love is steadfast for my orphaned soul, that He sustains through the times of drought and famine, that He is above it all and that this vision is HIS, not mine. He cares for me, and what more could I ask for?